1. Take Responsibility for Yourself
This is the most important choice you can make to
improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your
own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make
you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own
thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring,
compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment.
2. Kindness, Compassion, Acceptance
Treat others the way you want to be treated. We all
yearn to be treated lovingly with kindness. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we
need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people
treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating others with
kindness brings kindness in return.
3. Learning Instead of Controlling
When conflict occurs, it is easy to become defensive.
The desire to “win” an argument appears. But when one partner loses, both lose. It is
important to communicate your feelings in a neutral manner (not with high emotions) and
listen to understand, not rebuttal.
4. Create Date Times
When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. As you
grow more comfortable with each other, life seems to get in the way. It is easy to forget
to set aside time for each other. But a relationship cannot last if you do not spend time
5. Gratitude Instead of Complaints
Positive energy flows between two people when there
is an attitude of gratitude. Constant complaints create a heavy, negative energy, which is
not fun to be around. And if you do have a complaint, which is normal, make sure to lead
with a compliment rather than dive right into the negatives.
6. Fun and Play
We all know that work without play makes Jack a dull boy. Work without
play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh
together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything
so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is
lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.
A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to
others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you
out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.